Post Holidays

Well I am back to work after a whirlwind of holidays and travel. I have to say California and the family was fantastic! I am really glad that I went. The baby did well on the plane and only had 1 real huge meltdown on the way home but we managed. There is lots more travel to come in his life so may as well break him in early.

Now that I am back to work and trying to get back into the swing of things I am realizing that my life is pretty boring. As you may have noticed I haven't blogged much lately....well at all really. I enjoy it, it makes me feel good to get stuff off my chest, I just don't have much to say. That reality makes me want to change things.

I know that having a newborn is a full time committment, and trust me it does take up most of my time, but I think I have been leaning on it to allow myself to not do much else. So this year, 2009, I think it's time to turn that around. I need to start to nurture my friendships and take care of my ever growing and changing (for the worse) body. I need to start to do things for myself again, and just figure out how to bring the baby along for the ride. Sounds like a good plan right? Now the trouble starts at execution.....

My New "Normal"

Well my best friend is a blogger and I spent some time this morning reading hers and was inspired to start my own. Unfortunately, my life just isn't as exciting and hers is. Now don't get me wrong, my life is full, just in a different way from hers.

I am a new mother and trying to find my way to what life is now. Motherhood changes EVERYTHING. I find it to be extremely rewarding and fulfilling. However, that being said, it's hard to find my new normal.

Normal used to be doing what I wanted when I wanted to. Spending what I wanted, eating what I wanted, sleeping when I wanted, that has all changed. I know it seems like my life was pretty selfish pre-baby but that really isn't so. I was just a typical unmarried 20-something (yea I am a 30-something now). My boyfriend and I liked to do whatever, whenever. Since the baby arrived our priorities have shifted and I kind of like it. My baby was premature so the change hit me hard and early and made me realize I needed to grow up and begin being the parent I always envisioned I would be. It's been a struggle as I worked through insecurities and feelings of inadequacy early on. I am sure this is not new to new moms but it was very difficult for me.

Now that my son is home and healthy and growing rapidly, I struggle to find my new normal. I went out Friday night with the girls for the first time since becoming pregnant and having a baby. I had tons of fun and drank too much and quickly realized, I can't party like I used to. Lucky for me, the boyfriend stepped up and cared for our boy so I could have my night. I did, however, have to put on my mommy hat early Saturday morning, hangover and all. That is what motherhood is about. Baby doesn't care if you are sick or tired or hung over, he needs you so you better be there!

So is this my new normal? Life with my son with glimpses or my old normal thrown in from time to time? I guess that is OKwith me.